Why Baseball Players Chew Tobacco And Other Athletes Don’t

It is just accepted by sports fans that baeball players chew tobacco.  Over the years, and all of the countless hours of baseball I have watched, I can’t remember a game where I didn’t see at least a few players spitting tobacco juice all over the field.  As a chewer of Copenhagen, it doesn’t offend me.  I have been chewing tobacco for over 20 years so I just accept it as part of the game.

However, there are those rare instances when a chewer gets cancer of the mouth and has to have a portion of his face removed.  I sympathize with those who have had the misfortune of being in the unlucky category with their habit of choice.

Baseball will probably be pressured into banning players from chewing during games someday, it is inevitable.  They currently encourage teams not to, but I have noticed many more chewers on the fields these last couple of weeks.  If you don’t believe me, watch a game and look for it.

Athletes in other sports usually don’t chew tobacco.  I have compiled a list of reasons why with each sport.

1. Basketball players would have nowhere to spit.  If Lebron threw some Skoal in his mouth, he would have to keep running over to the bench to grab his spit cup off of JJ Hickson every couple of trips down the floor.  This would cut into the shot clock and make it harder to run the offense.
2. Hockey players would spit all over the ice, but the non-chewing players would get grossed out if they got checked and fell into a puddle of saliva.  Goalees might be able to get away with it, they could put a spit cup on the net next to their squeeze bottles. 
3. Football players have to wear a mouthpiece.  The worst experience a chewer has is when their snuff “floats” because it was either packed loosely when inserted or it becomes unpacked and and scatters throughout the mouth.  Football players can always revert to bandits or pouces and probably do.  The mouthpiece is the biggest drawback to why we don’t see more football players chewing tobacco during games.
4. Boxers also have the mouthpiece thing to deal with.  It would be funny to hear Larry Merchant interview a fighter who has to keep spitting.  Merchant would be grossed out and retire.  Getting punched around the oral cavity would diminish the chances of keeping a tightly packed chew in place.  A fighter has enough problems with the jaw and getting teeth knocked out to chew.
5. MMA fighters can bleed anywhere they want but Dana White would probably blow a gasket if someone on The Ultimate Fighter spit in his octagon.  Now if White chewed, it would probably be mandatory that all UFC participants must chew during fights.  In reality, these guys wear mouthpieces and it would be too hard to pass someone’s guard while chewing and needing to spit.
6. Golfers don’t wear mouthpieces so they could chew.  They could spit all the way up a hole if they wanted to.  I have never seen a PGA golfer chewing on television.  It would be great TV to watch Ernie Els load up and start spitting all over a green while paired with Tiger Woods.  He would probably lose his card.
7. NASCAR drivers have one drawback, they wear a helmet.  As hot as it gets in those cars with those suits on, they could create a real mess inside that helmet.  I am working on developing a device to enable drivers to spit with a helmet on.  The device will cleverly allow the spit to be hosed through the bottom of the car and onto the track.  I would bet about 80% of these guys do chew and wish they could during a race.  Some probably do and just don’t spit.
8. Soccer players would easily get lightheaded from constantly running and spitting.  I could see one of those fiesty Manchester United players getting a red card for spitting on an opponent.  I don’t think smokeless tobacco is as popular overseas as it is here in the states.
9. Tennis players are another group who could probably get away with it.  If two players both chew it wouldn’t be an issue as they could spit freely without having to worry about grossing an opponent out.  I would pay good money to watch Roger Federer watch an incoming volley lob land in a spit puddle and squirm in disgust, failing to return the shot.

Playing baseball is like being in the garden.  There is dirt and grass everywhere and spit is well hidden in that setting.  Spitting has its rightful place in between pitches, a perfect break.  Isn’t it ironic that a “spitball” is a term used in the only sport where players spit?