Admittedly, I suck at golf.  I am one of those guys who for the past ten years played about once a week and could never get better.  I always had a few shots that would give me the false sense that I was getting better, making me want to go back for more the next week.  By the time the next week was over, I might have gotten lucky enough to par a hole, and couldn’t wait to come back the next week. 

What I was overlooking in this pattern was that if I did par or birdie a hole and still shot 54 for nine holes, how bad was I botching the other eight holes?  54 for nine holes is not a good score, but it was a decent round for me.  It really gets bad when you are in a foursome and Dan scores 38, Glenn scores 42, and Buddy shoots 44.  You are automatically the weak link, the person everyone is supposed to beat.

I don’t understand why I’m so bad.  Both of my parents have had a  hole-in-one, so it is in my blood somewhat.  My mother still plays three days a week and shoots low-to-mid 40’s.

I have not played golf this year thanks in part to a hip surgery which has limited my physical abilities in the bending department.  Over these first two months people have been playing golf, I have made several observations about why playing golf annoys the hell out of me.

1. Everyone else scores lower than I do in my circle of friends.  If I were to resume playing golf next Spring, I would have to find a couple of 92 year-old men to beat every time out.  This might boost my confidence.
2. You have to play at least three times a week to get better at it.  I can’t see myself obeying that demanding of a schedule from week-to-week unless the Golf Fairy blessed me with an abundance of natural talent overnight, which is highly unlikely.
3. I am left-handed at most everything, but I swing the clubs right-handed.  The only other thing I do right-handed is write, and my writing is sloppier than my 7 year-old Nephew Dante’s.  Maybe Mrs. Drummond shouldn’t have slapped me with that ruler for trying to write left-handed in second grade.
4. It gets expensive when you suck.  You don’t lose many balls when you don’t hit them good.  I would say 80% of my long tee drive attempts hooked right and were gone.  The expenses add up just to play.  $30.00 out of my pocket could be spent in more constructive ways.  Not to mention, almost every group I have ever played with does a sidegame with at least skins and greenies.  Usually at least $10 to add to the total.
5. One really bad shot causes so many more.  Once I took a rip at a ball and topped it watching it bounce 20 feet in the air off of the ground and stopping about 30 feet from where I hit it, I was doomed.  It subconsciously lives everytime you hit the next shot. 
6. But I putt good.  So I am resigned to the fact that I should probably stick to putt-putt.  That only costs $7 to play and everyone has a chance to win. 
7. Clubs do not matter.  Most of my buddies who golf go spend $300 a year on a new driver.  I fell into this trap a couple of years ago and spent $240 for a new Calloway driver.  I could have swung a rake and hit the ball better and further than most of my drives with the awesome new club.
8. Aim for trees.  If you suck like me, outsmart yourself.  Instead of trying to avoid the big elm tree 100 yards in front of the green, aim for it.  You wont hit it because you are aiming for it.  If you do hit it, than you are improving and better start playing more.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not downgrading the sport of golf.  Most guys that have the time and the money to play often usually improve over time.  It is a great sport, I just suck at it.

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